We can win against substance abuse: Prepare to fight
This isn't scientific. This is just me speaking from experience from working with countless individuals who have battled substance abuse. I have seen how hard the fight is for you, it is a never ending one that you will have to remain vigilant for the rest of your life to survive it. But it can be done. It begins with you and only you. You need to be the one to decide it is time to stop being at war with yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not your spouse or significant other. Not your parents or church group. You.
Family and friends you play a part in all of this but your role is a supporting role. No more. No less. You can want sobriety and recovery for your loved one but not more than they do. Also, know that this isn't something they can just "will" away. It's not that simple. Know that they do indeed suffer from a disease and not a weak willed mind or just a selfish streak that's out to punish you. They need help. You can do that by providing resources, by listening and not judging, and realizing that it may take more than once, twice or even three times to get this right. But they are worth it. Remember your job isn't to do all the work but to be supportive and well, just be there.
If you are struggling with substance abuse today and you are ready to find yourself again, don't be afraid to say those three powerful words that can lead you there. "I need help."